dis r ma konfesi.....no more holding 2d past! hah!

dis time its real..i kno u guys wud say like,"eh banarkah c marul ani? he's alwez been obsessed wif dat girl"..haha yea dis tym its real!! huhu now i just wanna let em out outta ma chest..i finally kno how 2let d words out..so here we go..

now that u're gone it seems i long for you day n nite..as i reminisce of ur promises as you held ma hands,i neva dreamt dat u'd leave..i tot dat u'd be here 2stay..i cried maself 2sleep wen i heard u say" dun u tink we're better off friends? "..ur words tore me apart dat day, as you stole ma heart..i still remmber it wuz b4 i went for ma malay class..ma frenz askd me y i lookd so lost n confused as i sat in class..i din answer em cos i was stil "bangang" n i cudnt bliv wat just happend..u left me stranded, no wer 2go..(but m lucky 2hav real frens who i cud/can turn 2)..in dat situation dat selfish person wud b u..it seems as if u didn't care,about me nor my feelings as u left me in despair..i start 2cry inside whenever i hear ur name,as ur voice repeats n u became a song in ma head..

" dun u tink we're better off friends? " i ask maself every day, was it bcos of me? but how? i neva loved sum1 one with a love so deep..i used 2sit alone and fil depressed,was wondering if u felt ma loneliness..then i startd 2tremble bcos i know dat d answer was no..u left me bcos?? wishing things were as dey were..b4 i lost u, before...?? stil cant figure out why.. but..since ma love was so strong i strived n no matter what hung on..its been "a while", at least a "few" years..u cud even call it the past n still 2dis day i still hear you say" dun u tink we're better off friends? "..altho it's hard, i now know dat you werent d one..n it is time 4me 2move on aftr few years pretending..n when came 2me n askd " can we b frens? " i sighed, then give ma reply "tho ive awaited dis day for so long, what you did was just wrong..all d pain dat u put me thru, ma conclusion is dat d fault was on u..u had your chance, i just dun fil d romance? it was ur loss n ma gain, sorry 2say, but ma feelings just arent the same " just then i startd 2cry again insyd bcos i know dat ma words were lies, deep down i knew i desperately want her back but m not goin 2give in dis time..ive learned 4rm ma pain dat m not gonna get hurt again..then i said 2u, " sorry, dis is the end,we're just friends,so in words short and few, we're thru! " no more longing 4d past dat i once endured..d only thing it brought me was suffering and hurt..

how can someone care 4u so much n u just cause pain? such sharp biting pain in ma heart..were u just TOYING me? tryna make me think dat i had a chance n then just watch me wither n die over u? haha well m not gonna let u dat 2me nymo..dats y i gave up all hope n carry on wif ma life bcos ma frens once told me dat no1 thinks dat u're worth it but i realised "quite" late,i agree wif em cos u were ruining ma life..now i'll just wait 2c wat d future has in store n not wait around 4u anymore..m moving on wif ma life n its far way better than then cos ive found ma one..she does certain things 2make me feel loved,eventho dey're just lil things but dey mean alot 2me n ur not! ive been in darkness 4so long just waitin 4d light,n now that she has come ma way, ma days dun seem like nights..i know its nothing serious 4now cos we havnt got 2meet, but surely its a start n dat i tink of her every morning when i awaken..it dusnt stop der..NO it dusnt stop der,her spells have cast on me,makes me think of her every hour n every hour of every day..i think of her b4 i sleep n even then m not safe..she sneaks into ma dreams n she haunts me der..plus,ive reali good frens who has ma back n dey've mine..i used 2make em upset n worried bcos i was so depressed cos of u,u wont take em away from me,no u dun..i now have thaught ma heart 2move on,for u r now forever gone..mwahahah

its 1232h now,m off 2sleep..too long? sorie..u guys must b bored readin em,even a lil..haha soryt..c ya..bah nanti tani buang stress sama2..haha taking care guys..a'kum
:+: one love :+:

http://s56.yousendit.com/d.php?id=21N9DYABJHQ88GJD02ENHGOOW
(sorie,satu lagu sja ku upload..m tired :P sabar2 ah..banyak plang masih new singles..pis daun!)